It’s the penultimate day before we finally embark on the trip we have been planning for so long. People keep asking me how I am feeling, and I’m finding this a very difficult question to answer. I’m excited of course, but exactly what about I’m still unsure. I’m frightened as well; the enormity of what we are doing has hit me like a stone and flashes of disasters penetrate my imagination constantly.
Because of this I have concentrated on the practicalities, keeping myself busy with preparation. But today I have no real preparation to do. I find myself tempted to pack and unpack my rucksack again and again, just in case I’ve forgotten anything, even though I know this is completely pointless. I am painfully aware that we are now down to hours before we leave and I try to indulge in the clean linen and hot shower that I can’t be sure of receiving on a regular basis for the next year.
I am finding saying goodbye to people extremely difficult because it doesn’t feel real. It won’t be until I am on the plane that I truly realise that it will be a year before I see their faces again, and then I know that I will be overcome with a huge desire to feel that last hug one more time.
I liken the way that I am feeling to that first dive you make from the highest diving board. You imagine before hand with some confidence, climbing the ladder and standing with your toes curled over the edge before taking a deep breath and making the perfect dive, and the reality of it is, that in the end you shake your way to the top and creep to the edge and then over balance unintentionally and then you’re committed to any kind of dive you can muster.
Having said all of that, I’m very proud of all of us as a family. My children have never once complained about selling most of their toys and packing up the rest. They have not complained about leaving their friends or the familiarity of their home or their village. They have readily received 14 injections, and they are the ones who remember we need to take our Malaria tablets. They haven’t even moaned about sleeping on the floor at Granny’s whilst we wait for our departure day to arrive. They seem to have a wonderful trust in John and I as parents and as long as we are there to show them the way they will be happy where ever we are. John too has boldly given up his laptop, mobile, oh and his job without a whimper and it should be remembered that we’ve all spend the last 2 years doggedly pursuing the saving plan to achieve our dream.
So as John says, my last doubting thoughts are purely down to the primitive need to run when I’m feeling the adrenalin.
We’re off round the world!
We’re actually going to do it! |
